Gladiator is the type of movie you wish your history teacher would show you in class – even if it is as historically accurate as Abraham Lincoln’s twitter account.

Everything led to this fight: it feels grandiose and tragic. And every frame you are waiting for Commodus’ shitty grin to leave his face – hopefully at the same time as his soul. Eventually you want to look away because it is kind of gory: But you can’t. That incestuous sociopath mass-murderer had it coming.

Characters: 10/10
Choreography: 7/10
Sound effects: 7/10
Music: 8/10
Location: badass coliseum /10
Editing: 8/10

For a 19-hour movie, it is astounding to realize this is the only sword duel in the whole trilogy (No, that girl putting a sword through the god damn Lich King does not count !). The fellowship is so good at killing stuff that no monster can really start a duel with them.

But not this bad boy! Armed with a big-ass bow, a big-ass sword and a big ass; Middle Earth’s version of a Redneck libertarian is out for blood. The fight is quick but very satisfying.


Characters: 7/10
Choreography: 7/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: 8/10
Location: 8 /10
Editing: 8/10

This is the only silly fight to make the list. The duel is lighthearted and should make you smile (unless you’re dead inside or a ginger).

The choreography is sharp and we can all thoroughly enjoy the gay undertones of those characters’ first encounter.The fact that they both duel with their left and right hands is also pretty neat. 

Anyway, yeah! It’s a little cheesy – but I’m done defending it ok ?! Princess Bride is great!

Characters: 8/10
Choreography: 8/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: 7/10
Location: 8 /10
Editing: 8/10

Before the series of Pirates of the Caribbean became pure liquid shit attached to movie reels – it was this movie. That movie was great; it was fun, full of witty characters and featured a soundtrack that will hunt you as long as loud kids playing with sticks exist.

The fight has a cool gimmick connected with the moonlight of the cave. The soundtrack gets you so pumped-up you’ll have a hard time not swinging your arms everywhere and uppercutting grandma in the jaw.

Characters: 9/10
Choreography: 8/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: eargasm /10
Location: 9 /10
Editing: 7/10

Before he saved his daughter from french pimps by destroying France, and before he trained a bad child actor to become the worst Jedi of all time: Liam Neeson was Rob ”the motherfucker” Roy.

This fight is great because it accounts for something that is never shown in movies: exhaustion. Rob Roy is a 6’4 badass who gets quickly out of breath against a much faster and  much gayer opponent. The heavy breathing is also emphasized by the absence of music.

Characters: 8/10
Choreography: 9/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: none /10
Location: 8 /10
Editing: 8/10

Good thing the hundreds of archers on top of the walls of Troy didn’t feel like helping Hector out there!

So yeah, both men start with lances but they get to their swords pretty quickly so don’t dismiss this one just yet. It’s a masterful work that reportedly took a month to shoot, a million in production costs and the life of one baby deer.
This scene is the epitome of manliness: revenge, duel, swords and skirts.

Characters: 9/10
Choreography: 9/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: 9 /10
Location: 9 /10
Editing: 8/10

Wow. This scene is so over the top! It’s the Fox News of sword fights – but in a good way. It’s so entertaining – the choreography is insane; and so are Jet Li and his opponent. 

Just like a Wall-Mart on Black Friday – emotions overcome everyone and the whole thing gets smashed to the ground. It is the most destructive duel in the list and one of the longest: thank you Asia. We always loved your country!


Characters: 7/10
Choreography: 10/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: 9 /10
Location: 10 /10
Editing: 8/10

I know a lot of people would have chosen the sword fight between Zorro and 25 year-old Catherine Zeta-Jones from the same movie but I’m not too inclined to share my porn collection on the internet. 

This fight has it all – even the sound effects of the swords sound almost as cool as fricking lightsabers. If Oberyn Martell and Batman could have a child: it would be Zorro. He’s got the effeminate swag and the badass cape. This fight is pure gold.

Characters: 9/10
Choreography: 9/10
Sound effects: 10/10
Music: 10/10
Location: 9/10
Editing: No shaky cam bullshit / 10

These women fight in the biggest kitchen I have ever seen. They seem keen on trying to prove that they are better than men. And they succeed by filming together, under 3 minutes, an introductory lesson on how to kill any misogynistic no-life internet blogger with various kitchenware in the most badass way possible. It also has the best choreography of all the duels on the list.

If any dude you know says girls can’t fight good – show them this clip (Or this one). 

Characters: 9/10
Choreography: 11/10
Sound effects: 10/10
Music: 9/10
Location: 9/10
Editing: 10/10

Nothing else could be picked really. It had to be Luke and the robotic impersonation of daddy issues that marked generations and generations of movie-goers (either this one or in Empire Strikes back). 

The duel is so good that we forget that at one point, no one had done anything like it. It is the original cliché: the original sword duel that became a global phenomenon that everyone aspires to. Am I perhaps just a blind fan-girl? Maybe ! Let the hate flow through you!

Characters: 10/10
Choreography: bad but doesn’t matter /10
Sound effects: BB-ZSHOOOO /10
Music: 10/10
Location: Death Star in front of Emperor /10
Editing: 10/10