<![CDATA[Movie Plot Holes -- Where suspension of disbelief comes to die. - Top 10 Sword Duels in Cinema]]>Mon, 11 Dec 2017 23:50:35 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Top 10 Sword Duels in Cinema]]>Tue, 19 Aug 2014 16:46:55 GMThttp://movieplotholes.com/top-10-sword-duels-in-cinema/top-10-sword-duels-in-cinemaPicture
The following list has been assembled by pondering on these criteria: sword choreography, characters, editing, music, sound effects and location of combat. Only duels (1) in movies (2) performed by real actors (3) using swords (of any type) were accepted. 


This list is completely fan-made but ultimately totally right - so I am expecting no more haters than the amount of parents I have who are disappointed in me:  two.  Anyway, Here is our Top 10:

10 - Maximus vs Emperor Commodus

Gladiator is the type of movie you wish your history teacher would show you in class - even if it is as historically accurate as Abraham Lincoln's twitter account.

Everything led to this fight: it feels grandiose and tragic. And every frame you are waiting for Commodus' shitty grin to leave his face - hopefully at the same time as his soul. Eventually you want to look away because it is kind of gory: But you can't. That incestuous sociopath mass-murderer had it coming.

Characters: 10/10
Choreography: 7/10
Sound effects: 7/10
Music: 8/10
Location: badass coliseum /10
Editing: 8/10

9 - Aragorn vs Uruk-hai 

For a 19-hour movie, it is astounding to realize this is the only sword duel in the whole trilogy (No, that girl putting a sword through the god damn Lich King does not count !). The fellowship is so good at killing stuff that no monster can really start a duel with them.

But not this bad boy! Armed with a big-ass bow, a big-ass sword and a big ass; Middle Earth's version of a Redneck libertarian is out for blood. The fight is quick but very satisfying.


Characters: 7/10
Choreography: 7/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: 8/10
Location: 8 /10
Editing: 8/10

8 - Inigo Montoya vs Westley

This is the only silly fight to make the list. The duel is lighthearted and should make you smile (unless you're dead inside or a ginger).

The choreography is sharp and we can all thoroughly enjoy the gay undertones of those characters' first encounter.The fact that they both duel with their left and right hands is also pretty neat. 

Anyway, yeah! It's a little cheesy - but I'm done defending it ok ?! Princess Bride is great!

Characters: 8/10
Choreography: 8/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: 7/10
Location: 8 /10
Editing: 8/10

7 - Jack Sparrow vs Hector Barbossa

Before the series of Pirates of the Caribbean became pure liquid shit attached to movie reels - it was this movie. That movie was great; it was fun, full of witty characters and featured a soundtrack that will hunt you as long as loud kids playing with sticks exist.

The fight has a cool gimmick connected with the moonlight of the cave. The soundtrack gets you so pumped-up you'll have a hard time not swinging your arms everywhere and uppercutting grandma in the jaw.

Characters: 9/10
Choreography: 8/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: eargasm /10
Location: 9 /10
Editing: 7/10

6 - Rob Roy vs Archibald Cunningham

Before he saved his daughter from french pimps by destroying France, and before he trained a bad child actor to become the worst Jedi of all time: Liam Neeson was Rob ''the motherfucker'' Roy.

This fight is great because it accounts for something that is never shown in movies: exhaustion. Rob Roy is a 6'4 badass who gets quickly out of breath against a much faster and  much gayer opponent. The heavy breathing is also emphasized by the absence of music.

Characters
: 8/10
Choreography: 9/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: none /10
Location: 8 /10
Editing: 8/10

5 - Achilles vs Hector

Good thing the hundreds of archers on top of the walls of Troy didn't feel like helping Hector out there!

So yeah, both men start with lances but they get to their swords pretty quickly so don't dismiss this one just yet. It's a masterful work that reportedly took a month to shoot, a million in production costs and the life of one baby deer.
This scene is the epitome of manliness: revenge, duel, swords and skirts.

Characters: 9/10
Choreography: 9/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: 9 /10
Location: 9 /10
Editing: 8/10

4 - Jet Li vs Chen Zhihui

Wow. This scene is so over the top! It's the Fox News of sword fights - but in a good way. It's so entertaining - the choreography is insane; and so are Jet Li and his opponent. 

Just like a Wall-Mart on Black Friday - emotions overcome everyone and the whole thing gets smashed to the ground. It is the most destructive duel in the list and one of the longest: thank you Asia. We always loved your country!


Characters
: 7/10
Choreography: 10/10
Sound effects: 8/10
Music: 9 /10
Location: 10 /10
Editing: 8/10

3 - Zorro vs Captain Love & Don Rafael

I know a lot of people would have chosen the sword fight between Zorro and 25 year-old Catherine Zeta-Jones from the same movie but I'm not too inclined to share my porn collection on the internet. 

This fight has it all - even the sound effects of the swords sound almost as cool as fricking lightsabers. If Oberyn Martell and Batman could have a child: it would be Zorro. He's got the effeminate swag and the badass cape. This fight is pure gold.

Characters: 9/10
Choreography: 9/10
Sound effects: 10/10
Music: 10/10
Location: 9/10
Editing: No shaky cam bullshit / 10

2 - Michelle Yeoh vs my future wife

These women fight in the biggest kitchen I have ever seen. They seem keen on trying to prove that they are better than men. And they succeed by filming together, under 3 minutes, an introductory lesson on how to kill any misogynistic no-life internet blogger with various kitchenware in the most badass way possible. It also has the best choreography of all the duels on the list.

If any dude you know says girls can't fight good - show them this clip (Or this one). 

Characters: 9/10
Choreography: 11/10
Sound effects: 10/10
Music: 9/10
Location: 9/10
Editing: 10/10

1 - Luke Skywalker vs Darth Vader

Nothing else could be picked really. It had to be Luke and the robotic impersonation of daddy issues that marked generations and generations of movie-goers (either this one or in Empire Strikes back). 

The duel is so good that we forget that at one point, no one had done anything like it. It is the original cliché: the original sword duel that became a global phenomenon that everyone aspires to. Am I perhaps just a blind fan-girl? Maybe ! Let the hate flow through you!

Characters: 10/10
Choreography: bad but doesn't matter /10
Sound effects: BB-ZSHOOOO /10
Music: 10/10
Location: Death Star in front of Emperor /10
Editing: 10/10

Feel free to tells us in the comments how and why we are wrong and you are more than welcome to share the sword duels you feel should have been on the list.
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